I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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