I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
