College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
God, I missed his penis.
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