Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me too. Send a cab. Order food.

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  (502): Me too. Send a cab. Order food. http://tfl.nu/uwpo
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (435): View more from Utah

  i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.

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  (435): i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down. http://tfl.nu/j1eb
  Replies (16) Good night (1128) Bad night (3211) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...

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  (770): If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday... http://tfl.nu/nvs1
  Replies (10) Good night (3088) Bad night (593) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale

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  (337): There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale http://tfl.nu/27tf
  Replies (8) Good night (2097) Bad night (903) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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  (916): whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door http://tfl.nu/x1rj
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (1933) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe

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  (307): I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe http://tfl.nu/mnt3
  Replies (5) Good night (1778) Bad night (562)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.

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  (610): You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude. http://tfl.nu/8276
  Replies (6) Good night (1596) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i want to face-plant into her vagina

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  (617): theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot (617): i want to face-plant into her vagina http://tfl.nu/1iml
  Replies (10) Good night (2416) Bad night (485)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Lets just say I chased with a burrito.

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  (513): Lets just say I chased with a burrito. http://tfl.nu/8s3e
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (392) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.

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  (718): Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up. http://tfl.nu/gzqi
  Replies (4) Good night (1186) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.

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  (410): That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home. http://tfl.nu/bawg
  Replies (8) Good night (2403) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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  (615): . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this. http://tfl.nu/oczw
  Replies (6) Good night (1176) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party

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  (319): So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party http://tfl.nu/6iyv
  Replies (7) Good night (1061) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  started my period, we have to try again next week

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint

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  (770): started my period, we have to try again next week (1-770): if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint http://tfl.nu/4qkj
  Replies (11) Good night (1315) Bad night (218) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high

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  (401): apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high http://tfl.nu/w0gd
  Replies (3) Good night (599) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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