everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird