Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too