sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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