do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
