It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
