You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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