We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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