The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
