If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You don't make any sense
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