i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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