That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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