I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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