if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
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