Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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