Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
