If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
