By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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