idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
