On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
