so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize