I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
