I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
