I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
