Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
