She's JV to your varsity
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
