Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
