So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
