Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
