Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
