He asked to "fluff my boner.."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
