Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
