I wanna bring you to show and tell
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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