It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
