So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
