I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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