i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You are a genius and a whore.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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