i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
