i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
