You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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