Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
