I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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