All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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