you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You are a genius and a whore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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