well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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