my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
