The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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