So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
