I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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