some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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