Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
