things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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