I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
where am i from again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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