who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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