Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
