im six kinds of drunk right now
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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