I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
