Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no