Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.