Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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