Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm getting married
To pizza
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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