did you get engaged???
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
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i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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