they said they heard you say put it in my butt
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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