It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
