Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
