That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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