I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
