So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Did I show you my penis last night?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
