We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
