I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I would fuck him just for his dog
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
