direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
