I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
