my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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